Ex Pluribus Nulla
by Mayclore
Summary: More is not always merrier. A sequel and a prequel to "Ship Breaker".


They know why I hang out at the docks so much. Waiting on expeditions to return. Asking how they did. Everyone knows I'm sad too, of course, I'm just not sure they want to bring up why. Reddish-brown fluid drips from my hands as I stand on the concrete, staring at the sea.

"Hey, Akashi! What's on your fingers?"

Fubuki's voice; it somehow doesn't make my stomach turn like usual. I'm already mentally occupied. There she is, standing a little ways behind me with her head cocked. "Huh?" I forgot to wash my hands again. I'm so brilliant. I blame my forgetfulness on the trauma and try to hide them. "Ah, nothing. You know. Factory work is pretty dirty!"

Did she buy it? Her eyes say no, but her smile says 'I won't push.' "Yeah! Yeah. I guess so. Waiting for the fleet to get back?"

"Uh huh. I can't trust Tenryuu to keep her gear on straight." My laughter sounds so… alien. And probably very, very fake. Fubuki's smile is as worried as it is broad. "I'm fine." Why did I say that? She never asked me how I was doing.

The young destroyer approaches, one hand on the back of her neck and her eyes off to the side. "Um, look. You don't have to hide how you feel. We understand what happens. And why it's necessary."

Is that good or bad? I can't decide. There's no point in hiding my hands any longer. "How many times will I have to do this?" I ask… someone. Mostly me. I lose myself in the dripping mess on my fingers. "She cried. She cried so loud."

"I don't know if it helps, but Akatsuki knew what she was getting into. She did it so her sisters could stay." Nope. Doesn't help a bit. My expression must say it all; Fubuki takes an uncertain step back and frowns. "Are you all..."

"No!" I scream, bursting into tears. "If th-these expeditions don't start succeeding I'm gonna lose my mind! I can't keep _doing_ this!"

My outburst leaves her trembling and silent. Meanwhile, I have totally lost control of my sobbing, stumbling around like a drunk. I have no idea how I avoid falling into the water. By the time I'm anywhere close to collecting myself I realize she's gone. I scared her off. Sigh. On the bright side, though, I see lights in the darkness. Someone's returning.

A few minutes later, Tenryuu and five destroyers come wandering across the sea. Three of these are Hibiki, Inazuma, and Ikazuchi – Akatsuki's sisters, more or less. The other two are Isonami and Hatsuyuki, dressed in nearly identical uniforms to Fubuki. I can't figure out who dragged Hatsu out of her room. "Hey!" Tenryuu shouts with a wave, walking up the steps that join the water to the dock. Akatsuki's sisters run around her and right to me.

"Look at all the stuff we got!" Ikazuchi shouts. She's dragging several drums behind her. "You don't need to..." Her proud demeanor begins to crack. Tears well up in her eyes. "S-so you can just depend on us for resources now. Right? There's no need to scr—i-is Akatsuki still okay?"

Oh, fuck me. Tenryuu sees me freeze and moves to round up her young charges. "Hey, leave her alone. She's tired. _You_ squirts were slowin' us down! I bet she's been out here since dawn!"

Her needling hits the fiery girl right where it hurts. She turns in a fury and waves her arms. "Hey! We're way faster than you!"

"Prove it! Race you to the warehouse!"

Off they go, thundering along and screaming insults at each other. Inazuma follows because she always follows Ikazuchi. Hibiki follows because she has to keep them in line. Isonami and Hatsuyuki, however, don't go anywhere. Both of them are staring at me. "Were we too late?" the former asks.

"Yeah." That's all I've got.

They too depart. Quietly, with their heads down. Now I'm alone again. I'm glad I won't have to be the one to deliver the news about Akatsuki, but I feel like a coward at the same time. They should have heard it from me. As I realize how much stuff they brought back, well, I just feel worse. I should have waited. She'd still be here.

I didn't _have_ to end it.

* * *

Our Admiral is a spindly blonde woman with fury that doesn't fit her meager build. Some of that is fake. I know how much of a teddy bear she is, especially around the little ones. Akatsuki's loss hurts her almost as much as it does me. I see it in her blue eyes. "May I?" she asks, motioning past me and at my room. Like me, the place is a mess.

"Sure. Sorry about the clutter." Clutter. Looks like a typhoon passed through here. I'd usually keep it clean, but lately… "You're up awfully early, huh?"

"I didn't get a ton of sleep last night." She walks slowly to the far wall and draws one of the curtains. My quarters overlook the factory floor, which is completely dark. I haven't opened for business yet. "You didn't either, did you?"

She always sees right through me. "No."

"I'm sorry. About… everything." I don't know what she's looking for out the window. There's no way she can see anything. "My gamble paid off. Tenryuu and Tatsuta found stable supply routes."

"A little too late." I sound so bitter.

Her head drops. "Yeah. I told them last night. They weren't happy." She looks back at me with a faint smile. "We won't have to scrap now. The expeditions are bringing back lots of goodies."

"That's nice..." I mean, that's great, really, but Akatsuki's still crying in my head. I don't think I can find happiness right now. Relief is as close as I get. "I guess you're gonna want some construction done?"

"Not quite yet. I'm building a stockpile." She walks over and takes me firmly by the shoulders. "Get out of here. I don't think it's healthy for you to be all cooped up. You know, being surrounded by memories. Go take a walk."

What good is that going to do? I can't deny her hopeful smile, though. Just smile back and nod, Akashi. "Okay. I'll be back… sometime."

Where the hell am I gonna go? The sun hasn't even risen yet. Not surprisingly, after I've left the factory and started walking, I notice I'm the only one out here. The town south of the base looks just as quiet. This is bad. I'm alone with my thoughts – the last place I wanted to be. May as well head to town anyway. Houshou's might still be op-

Wait. I see lights in the harbor.

And I can't help myself. I run to the wharf to see who it is. To see what they brought back. Tatsuta is the first to come into view, twirling her glaive and humming to herself. Kiso – far less cheerful – is with her, as are four destroyers, who are lagging behind. I'm not sure why until halo-head reaches the steps. "What did you bring back?" I ask.

"Oh, quite a haul." Tatsuta looks out as the little ones struggle to reach shore. Kiso, standing on her other side, gives me a weird look. I think she's trying to be sympathetic?

It's weirding me out. I also look back at the rest of Tatsuta's fleet. Oh, there are five destroyers, not four… huh? "You found someone?"

"Surprise!" Tatsuta chirps, waving her free hand a little. "Come along, children! I'm not going to wait forever."

"Hold your horses! Damn!" one of them yells back. Akebono, definitely. At last they come out of the darkness and I can see them. Fubuki, Mutsuki, Kisaragi, and Yuudachi are all carrying a string of barrels. The fifth is empty-handed.

She's also Akatsuki.

"Let me carry something!" she demands. "I'm not a kid!"

"All right, you asked for it," Fubuki replies, sounding exhausted. She hands off her string of barrels and watches Akatsuki fumble under their weight. "I'm gonna go report to the Admiral."

Tatsuta wiggles her fingers in farewell and looks to her fleet once more. "I'm going to the docks. Have fun sorting the cargo!"

Akebono is livid. "Hey! Don't leave..." She trails off as Tatsuta wanders away, humming cheerfully to herself. "Wow, I hate you."

"I'll help." Why did I say that? The physical reminder of my sins is still fighting with the weight of the barrels. I take the rope and heft them over my shoulder.

"I d-didn't need any help!" she growls. Her lips are pursed. In look and personality she is the spitting image of the girl I murdered twelve hours before. I don't know whether to feel sick or jump for joy. Both at once, I guess. They cancel out and leave me… mute.

I only find the ability to speak again after we're done in the warehouse. "Sure was a lot of bauxite. The carriers are gonna be happy."

Akatsuki's mind is elsewhere. "Are any of my sisters here?" she asks, a little timid. "N-not that it matters, I guess, but..."

Yuudachi waves her arms happily. "They are! I'll show you where the dorms are, poi!"

"Oh, uh, okay."

They depart, leaving me with three others who are in their own little conversation. "You can go," I inform them. "I'll take it from here."

"Oh, thanks," Mutsuki replies. They leave as well, with various goodbyes or grunts of polite annoyance. Now only Kiso is here.

"You look upset," she says quietly.

I know I'll fail, but I try to lie my way out of it anyway. "Don't be silly, I'm just sleepy."

"Uh huh." She walks toward the door, giving me a heavy clap on the back as she passes. "Just leave it to us from now on."

Man, she hits hard. I'm left breathless. "If you say so… ow."

Kiso pauses in the doorway, turns, and flashes me a smile. "We're all thinking about you. I know it's not easy. But, you know, you've kept this place running. We appreciate it."

I can't believe it. Kiso's gotten soft on me. I'm actually a bit _dumbfounded_ , but grateful for the support. "Thanks. I—um, that means a lot."

And then she's back to her usual terse self. "Yeah. See you."

My only company is the pile of stuff they've left behind. So much stuff. I could build a fleet with this, or equip three. I'm so used to the warehouse being bare. All I can do is cry at the sight. "She didn't have to die." I should have stalled. I should have…

Footsteps reach my ears as I sink to my knees. "What are you doing here?" the Admiral asks me. "I told you to take a br—Akashi?" In a flash she's by my side with her arms around me.

"I shouldn't have killed her! I could have waited!" I sink limply into her embrace. "She'd still be..."

Except she is alive. No, that's not right. There's an Akatsuki, but it's not _the_ Akatsuki. Right?

* * *

The only way I'm going to get an answer is to find her and her sisters. I bide my time until lunch. They usually go to Mamiya's little cafe. I'll find them there.

The Admiral doesn't care for my plan. "Akashi, maybe you shouldn't." I don't think I've ever heard her sound so unsure before. "I know it hurts, but stop dwelling on it."

There's something she isn't telling me, but whatever. I'm too set on my plan. "I have to know. We've never gotten a duplicate so soon afterward before."

"What are you looking for, 'Shi? Forgiveness?"

Ouch. Right in the heart. I stare down at my boots. "I don't know. Maybe."

She sighs and waves me toward the door. "How many times do I have to tell you that nobody blames you? But… if this helps you feel better, go ahead. Just don't get your hopes up."

"Thank you. I'll be back soon." Definitely not telling me something. I'm gonna grill her hard when I return.

My hunch is right: the moment I open the cafe door I see a clump of white-uniformed girls sitting at the same table they always do. Something isn't right, though. There are too many.

"I'm the real Akatsuki!"

Good god, there are _two_ of them sitting there. I knew Tenryuu's fleet had come back from another expedition – I helped them sort their cargo – but I had no idea they'd found a second Akatsuki.

"You're just a kid!" Akatsuki number… one? Two? screams back at her. "I was here first! I'm the real Akatsuki!" Okay, she's number one then.

Her sisters are unable or unwilling to intervene – not even Ikazuchi, who would normally be shouting them down for being dumb. Inazuma sees me and darts over, tears in her eyes. "M-miss Akashi," she whines, "We don't know what to do!"

They're not the only ones. While the twin Akatsukis get quiet as I walk over, the tension between them remains. What should I say? What _can_ I say? "You're both the real Akatsuki. Like twins." Maybe that will help.

"Like me and Inazuma!"

"Sort of, Ikazuchi. Except these two are identical." Their expressions are softening. I must have said something right. "No need to argue. You've got another sister. Be glad."

One of them fidgets and grumbles, "But we can't both be Akatsuki!"

"Figure out nicknames, then. Maybe number one and two?"

The Akatsuki on my left folds her arms in a huff. "Why should I be number two when she's such a brat?!"

"You're the brat!"

It's a good thing my next question will drop the hammer on this fight, but I still feel sick asking it. "Enough. Do you two have any memories of your life before ending up here?"

I've suddenly deposited a thundercloud in the room. Even Mamiya, all the way on the other side of the restaurant, looks gloomy. Nobody knows what to say for a while. "I… I remember sinking," Akatsuki number two says.

"Me too. I saw a ship and then they all shot at me," her twin agrees lowly.

If I don't speed this up I'm gonna be surrounded by crying kids. "Nothing else?"

Both of them answer this time. "No."

Not what I was looking for, but what can I do? "Don't worry about it. Look, try to get along, huh? Your sisters don't like it when you fight."

"Okay..." Akatsuki number one is pouting hard. She won't even make eye contact.

I depart, hesitating a bit to make sure another fight doesn't break out behind me. Once I'm certain peace has taken hold, I tap the side of my head. "Ooyodo, Akashi. Do you read me?"

"Loud and clear. What's the problem?"

I can see a fleet departing the wharf. It distracts me for a second. "No problem. Just wondering where the Admiral is."

"In her office, as far as I know."

Good. I have something I need to get off my chest. "Tell her I want to see her."

* * *

"I'm not surprised they're fighting."

The Admiral paces around her office in an attempt to look thoughtful. Or something. It strikes me as kind of weird for her. "It's Akatsuki. She loves to get into arguments. Even with herself." My assurance doesn't sound very… assuring.

"Maybe." She looks over at her secretary – Ashigara, one of our few heavy cruisers – and then nods to the door. "Ashi, could you give us a minute?" When she's gone, her eyes land on me. "What I'm about to tell you is highly classified. Speak a word of it to anyone and I'll scrap you myself. Understood?"

Her overpowering seriousness leaves me trembling in my seat. "O-of course."

"Good girl." She sits down at her desk before continuing. "Before I was assigned here, I worked on a project in the Capital Region that dealt with the spiritual nature of ship girls."

My head cocks with surprise. "Really? What were they after?"

"Manufacturing spirits, but that's not the point." I must look pretty stunned, because she hesitates for a second. "We did a lot of research on retention of memories. They always recalled their first lives, but never what happened in their times as humanoids. Trust me, we checked."

Her words mean only one thing to me: scrapping. "You killed them and asked their duplicates?"

"Yeah."

I'm starting to regret coming back here. She must see it in my eyes – her hand comes across the desk and grips my left shoulder. "You can tell her you're sorry, but she won't understand why. The only one who wants closure is you. And..." Hold up, is the Admiral about to cry? "I'm glad you wanted to talk. Speaking of closure, heh, I guess I'm looking for some. I'm sorry for putting you through all of this."

This is as alien to me as my own need for forgiveness must be to everyone else. "Why? We had to."

"Doesn't make it any better, does it?" No, it doesn't. My shoulders slump under the weight of everything. In a flash, the Admiral comes around the desk and hugs me. "It's all right," she murmurs. "Never again."

Too good to be true, that's my initial reaction. "Wh-what? But we-"

"Shush. Tenryuu and Tatsuta have it under control. No more scrapping. The new twins will just have to get used to each other." She steps back and smiles down at me. "There's enough blood and oil on your hands."

"B-but, but I-" I'm…

I'm free?

Abruptly, she strides across the room and snatches the microphone off Ashigara's desk. "Attention please," she says, tapping it. "This is the Admiral." Ashigara, confused, peeks around the door. "I have good news about our resource situation. No more volunteers will be needed for scrapping. If you had to give up any equipment, well, you'd better see Akashi about getting it replaced. That is all."

I feel myself staring in confusion. It still hasn't registered. "No more volunteers?"

"Akashi!" Ashigara says happily, taking me by the hand. "That's wonderful news!"

Sure is, but… my memories still hurt. At least now, though, there's a finite quality to my pain. It won't get any bigger. It won't get any worse. There's a light at the end of the tunnel, and it's finally not the swinging lamp that hangs over that damned metal table. "It really is, isn't it?"

The Admiral knows what I need now: space. "Better get back to the factory, huh? You've got some work to do." Her grin is so vast it must be painful.

Now reality strikes, hitting with such fury that I rise to my feet and gasp. "Yes! I do!" What drives me to run so fast, I don't know, but I move like I was fired from a cannon.

Despite my breakneck pace, I find someone has beaten me to the building: Tenryuu, twirling her sword idly as she waits. Her face is etched deeply with exhaustion. "Oi," she greets with a wave. "I heard the announcement. We did pretty good."

"Yes!" I need some time to catch my breath. "Yes. Yes you have. What do you need?"

"Just wanted to drop by and let you know we dumped another load in the warehouse. I'm too tired to sort it. Do you mind?"

That is exactly the sort of work I need to help me think. "Of course not! I'll start on it right now!"

Tenryuu departs with a friendly smile sandwiched between yawns. "I owe ya. The new girl is still over there. She'll probably help out."

My brain is absolutely saturated with glee, so much that I barely even hear her last words. A drum crashes to the floor just as I get into the warehouse, followed by cutesy squealing. I rush over to help whoever it is. "Are you okay?" I find an Akatsuki, sniffling and shaking her hand. "Oh, hey there. You didn't hurt yourself, did you?"

"N-no," she pouts. "I'm totally fine." The way she's holding her arm is a dead giveaway, though.

"No need to act tough." Akatsuki is reluctant to let me examine it at first. "Did you think about what I said in the cafe?"

"What? What cafe?"

My mind comes to a screeching halt. She's kidding. Joking with me. I hope. I pin her to the floor with my terrified eyes. "I had to stop you from arguing. Your sisters were getting upset."

Suddenly, my glee has become hers. "My sisters are here?!" She makes a show of collecting herself. "I mean… I wasn't worried I'd be alone. I'm a lady, I can handle it. I can handle—ow!"

I'm holding onto her for dear life now; she has to jerk her hand from my grip. I hardly notice the act. "When did you get here?" I ask, betraying a little too much of my anxiety.

Akatsuki waves the pain away, eying me with deep suspicion. "Just now! Miss Tenryuu's fleet dropped me off."

And then, apparently, there were three.

* * *

I would say that all hell has broken loose, but I don't think hell is this chaotic. Three Akatsukis are too much for even steadfast Hibiki to take on her own; the best she can do is stay between them and prevent the triplets from coming to blows. The Admiral, standing on my left, has a trembling Inazuma attached to her leg. Ikazuchi is nowhere to be found, at the Admiral's command – adding her to this mix would really make things uncontrollable.

"You're liars!" Akatsuki three screeches. "Kids! Babies! I'm the real lady!"

"If you're us, you're as much of a baby as we are!" Akatsuki one fires back.

Three is left stunned for about a second before she explodes with rage and tries to throw a fist. "Shut up!" Hibiki holds her out of punching distance with an angry grumble.

"Enough!" the Admiral bellows. "I swear to god, if you three don't get yourselves under control, I'll have two of you scrapped!" My blood runs cold at her threat. She notices my distress – I know this because she very subtly takes my hand. Her feigned anger works, though. The triplets are dead quiet. "Good. We're going to get through this before you drive the base insane. You are _all_ Akatsuki. You are _all_ ladies."

This concept seems to have an effect. Hibiki finally gets a chance to catch her breath while the Akatsukis are thinking. Suddenly number three says, "I'm more of a lady than they are."

So much for the quiet. "No you're not!"

Akatsuki two brings up a valid issue, though: "How can you be more me than me? I'm me!"

"I'm me too!"

"So am I!"

Silence, again. Based on their expressions, they must be having a really, really serious thought. Three's face screws up so much that Hibiki giggles at it.

"Are you done?" the Admiral asks hopefully.

It's like they've forgotten how to speak, at least until Akatsuki one raises her hand. "May we go back to our room now?"

The Admiral blinks. "Uh, sure. Dismissed. Inazuma, Hibiki, take them back to the dorms, I guess." Once all the kids have filed out, she lets go of my hand and looks around. "What just happened?"

The best I can do is shrug. "I don't have a clue. Maybe they're tired of the echo chamber?"

"Could be." She returns to her desk and sits roughly. "Just as long as we don't pick up any more of them. I don't think I can handle four. Or five."

Ashigara shakes her head and sighs. "Great. Now we're certain to find more."

"You watch too many movies, Ashi." The Admiral nods at me. "You're dismissed too. Tatsuta wants her equipment checked."

"Right away."

She isn't there by the time I get back, so I have to busy myself with idle tasks around the factory. Sweeping. Organizing tools. Staring at the scrapping room door. I can't bring myself to open it, even though there's no blood-soaked mess beyond. The memories are bad enough. If it were up to me, I'd brick the damn thing over.

"Hmm? Wrangling with your nightmares?"

Tatsuta scares the hell out of me, as usual. "Don't sneak up on me like that!"

"Pardon me." She's in full combat gear – the whole set, superstructure and all. "I need a bit of poking, if you wouldn't mind."

I'm still a bit annoyed with her lack of an entrance. "I heard. Get under the test bench." After a few minutes of checking her equipment in silence – from me, anyway, she's humming a song – I have to say it. "You and Tenryuu's expedition idea saved me. Did you hear the Admiral's announcement?"

Her dismissive, if pleasant, reply is tainted with the barest hint of sadism. "Aha, Akashi, the pleasure is all mine. Perhaps I'll call in a favor one day, hmm?"

I just roll my eyes. "I wouldn't put it past you."

Whatever is wrong with her kit, I can't find it, so after an hour of tinkering I send her off to the deployment point to have it stored. I can look at it after I get a much-needed nap. My initial plan was to crash upstairs, but the wharf is so sunny and warm. I end up falling asleep on the concrete and…

"Miss Akashi!"

...I didn't get much of a nap, did I? No, the position of the sun says otherwise. The interruption comes from a nervous-looking Inazuma, but then again she always looks nervous. "Eh? What?"

She points back toward the base proper with a shaking arm. "Hawa… something is wrong with Akatsuki… um, the Akatsukis?"

My back is aching from my poor choice of mattress, but I stand up through the pain. "Don't tell me they're fighting again."

"N-no, they're saying weird stuff!"

My face goes blank. "What weird stuff?" She won't answer; instead, she takes me by the hand and pulls weakly. "Okay, okay. I'm coming."

Ikazuchi and Hibiki are camped out by a dorm room door when we arrive, their heads against it as they eavesdrop. "Hey!" the former says. "They're broken! You gotta fix 'em!"

That doesn't help me get a better idea of anything. "Broken _how_?"

Hibiki opens the door and points. "That's how."

Three Akatsukis sit around the table that all the common areas of the dorm rooms have, staring at the ceiling and mumbling something. The sound is too faint for me to hear; I only know they're speaking because I see their lips moving. Nobody wants to follow me inside. "Uh… stay here." I have to get close before I can make out words.

"I'm me," one of them says.

"No, I'm you," another retorts.

"You're me," the other adds.

"We're us. I am. Me… we…?"

Waving my hand in front of their eyes does nothing. Neither does tapping them on the shoulders. "Hey. Are you okay?" Even thumping them on their hats doesn't snap them out of whatever this is.

"We are. I am. They are. It doesn't hurt."

I can hear Inazuma chattering behind me, a flood of whispered "hawawa" that signals her lack of understanding. I'm in the same boat. I have never seen a ship girl act like this before. I've never seen so many copies near each other, either. My mind links the ideas together. "You girls get out of here," I say, fearful something worse is yet to come. "I'll see what I can do."

"Will you have to scrap them?"

Hibiki's question leaves me shuddering with dread. "I don't know. I'm gonna stay here and watch them. See what happens."

The other destroyers file out nervously, leaving me with three Akatsukis that still speak no sense. "I am not okay," one of them murmurs.

"But we are," the other two reply.

"What the hell is this?" Not knowing what else to do, I elect to sit in their circle. Maybe one of them will notice me and snap out of whatever this is.

"Help me."

All three of them say this. It startles me badly, even though the sentence was hardly louder than a whisper. "H-help you? How? With what?"

One of them has a twitching eye now. "The fleet… is back..."

"Another expedition?" Damn it, who got sent out this afternoon? Whose fleet did I see leaving the harbor? "Ooyodo, Akashi. Come in. Are you still there?"

"Um, she's taking a break, poi." Yuudachi, hesitant and unsure. "I'm just minding the desk until she comes back."

"Is there a fleet returning from an expedition right now?"

My demanding tone leaves her even more of a nervous wreck. "Wh-wh… I don't know! There are so many files here, how does she keep track of them all?!"

One of the Akatsukis has fallen over limp against her clone, drooling from one corner of her mouth. Her purple eyes are glassy. I start to panic. "Yuudachi! I need to know!"

"P-p-poi! I don't know! I can't see the wharf from here!"

It's not like I can go look myself. I can't leave these girls here, not in this state. Adrenaline gives me the strength to grab two under one arm and tuck the last under the other. I have to shoulder the door open, but my metal pauldron takes that impact. My dash attracts confused exclamations and screams as I move, but none are louder than Nagara, a lithe light cruiser that's probably one of the fastest girls we've got. "Hey!" she screeches. "Akashi! We need you! Something's seriously wrong with the—what are you doing with _them_?!"

"No time! I have to go!" I'm heading to the factory, but what am I going to do with these three when I get there? I've got no plan. I'm just running scared. And of course, when I arrive I make the worst possible decision to keep them together and away from everyone else.

I throw them, literally throw them, into the scrapping room. It's a testament to how fast I was going that Nagara is only just in time to see it. "What are you… I thought the scrapping thing was over?"

"I'm not going to-" Seeing Akatsuki – even if they're not the same one from my memories – in there again brings me extremely close to puking. I have to press a hand over my mouth and fight the urge. In the act of looking away, I'm forced to finally make eye contact with Nagara. She has a fourth, equally catatonic Akatsuki in her arms. "Oh—oh no..."

"What's going on?" she asks me nervously. "She was fine until we got to the harbor, then I had to ditch her combat gear and carry her. She woulda sunk otherwise."

There's only one person on this base with any hope of answering that question. "Go get the Admiral. _Now_."

* * *

She doesn't come alone. Nagara returns with her, and amazingly Tatsuta tagged along. I've got all four Akatsukis in the scrapping room, sitting on the floor and propped up against the back wall. They're absolutely silent. Every one of them has their jaws open as they stare up into the light. When was the last time they blinked? "What the hell is wrong with them?" the Admiral asks, stooping in front of the quartet.

I'm still panicking. Tatsuta has to make way for me as I pace around. "I don't know. I don't know. I don't understand."

"Uh, that one's starting to bleed," Nagara points out, indicating the third one from the right. The fluid leaking from her mouth is no longer clear, but a viscous mixture of red and brown that slowly crawls away from her lips.

"This one too," the Admiral adds. "From her eyes."

A barely audible and extremely pained-sounding "Too many..." wafts from one of the Akatsukis' mouths, but I can't tell which.

Tatsuta rubs her chin in thought. "Too many what?"

"Too many of them." The Admiral rises and comes over to me, blocking my path in order to make me stop pacing. I don't try to push past. "Too many bodies for one spirit to drive," she mutters into my ear. "This is bad."

Nagara is starting to get frantic. "What can we do?" An icy glance from Tatsuta makes her squeak. She squeaks again when the girl takes the black glaive off her back. "Are you insane?! We can't just-"

I've never seen her expression look this brutal before. "They're going to die anyway," she states coldly, twirling her weapon. "One of us has to show them mercy."

And she's right. As we've talked, their conditions have gotten worse. All four are twitching in pain, dripping blood and fuel oil from every hole in their faces. Like swimming fish, their mouths widen and shrink repeatedly. Are they gasping for air? Or are they trying to scream? "We only need to kill three," the Admiral says. Her tough facade cracks a few seconds later. "H-how the fuck am I supposed to pick which one lives?!"

Hearing her break like that shatters my heart. It's not her job to carry this burden. I don't care if she's the commanding officer. A thunderbolt of an idea streaks through my brain. It'll probably get me killed, but I don't care. Part of me is going to die either way.

Off to my left, Tatsuta is ready to be the anti-hero. "I'll handle this," she says. "Go. I'll make the decision." Her tone says she expects to suffer. What she doesn't expect, what _no one_ expected, was the heel of my left hand slamming into her chin. Stunned, she topples backward out the door, giving me a chance to snatch her glaive with my other hand. Nagara has no idea what to do as I grab her by the collar and shove her out next. This leaves me with the Admiral, who screams as she gets treated to the same fate. Before they can get up off the floor, I slam the door on them and lock it tight.

"Akashi!" Fruitless clicks from the door mechanism follow the Admiral's scream. Desperate pounding comes next. "Akashi! _Open this fucking door_!"

"Nobody else is going to do my damn job! I'm the ship breaker!" The sight of four shaking girls, sitting in a puddle of their own misery, cools my vitriol pretty fast. The Admiral had a point: how the hell am I supposed to choose?

"Akashi, if you don't open this door I'll have the carrier group bring the building down around you!"

My reply is way, way too calm. "No you won't." The second one from the left… she has the most blood trickling down her face. She must be in the most pain, then, right? Tatsuta's glaive is unwieldy in here. There's just enough room for me to bring it up and get it pointed in the right direction. "Please forgive me."

But this Akatsuki emits a shrill, ear-shattering scream and clambers to her feet. At first it seems like she's going to defend herself from me, but no; she turns on the clone to her right and tears at her bloody cheek with a flurry of teeth and nails. "Too many!" she screams. "Too many!" In seconds, she's reduced her victim's face to a bloody pulp. I'm too horrified at the sight to even move.

Behind me, Tatsuta has finally succumbed to the fear. "It won't budge! Nagara! Help me!"

"Too many!" Akatsuki falls upon another of her would-be twins with astonishing violence, punching her in the stomach until the girl falls over, gurgling blood. She keeps hitting until the impacts no longer cause the other Akatsuki to twitch. "Too many!" There's just one left now – the one nearest me. She advances on us, nostrils flaring with rage. "Too many!"

My brain finally regains contact with my arms. The point of the glaive whistles down and buries itself between her amethyst eyes. Despite my attack, Akatsuki still reaches for the other her. Weakly, anyway. "Too… many… too..." And then she smiles before going limp.

Her screaming leaves my ears ringing for a while, but then it becomes too quiet. I plant my foot on her chest and yank the glaive out, then move the last Akatsuki away from the dead bodies. At least she's still breathing.

The Admiral brings me back to my senses. "Hey! Why did it get quiet?! Akashi!" She pounds on the door again. "Hey!"

What am I supposed to say? I opt for nothing at all, instead cradling the last Akatsuki in my arms and walking over to the door. She stops when she hears the click of the lock disengaging, but I'm the one that has to open it. One step at a time, I emerge. A pallid Tatsuta receives her bloody glaive before I look at the Admiral. "It self-corrected. One of them killed two others before I took her out. Maybe this one will be okay." I leave them behind with slow strides.

"A-Akashi?" the Admiral says gently.

Numb. Everything is so numb. "Just shut the door, Admiral. I'll clean it up when I get back."

* * *

My story finishes up with a way-too-cheerful "And I was in therapy for six months after that!" Yuubari stares at me all weird. "Uh, never mind."

She shakes it off and runs a hand over her hair. For a few moments, we watch the seabirds trace vast circles over the wharf and harbor. "Copies of ship girls share one personality?" she blurts out.

"They call it Personality Fragmentation Disorder nowadays. Turns out the fleet had seen it before, but we were the first to report details of it back to headquarters. Then they started to study it."

"Right. We never heard from HQ much. I would guess our former commander is to blame."

This is going to get even more depressing if I don't change the subject. Not like the other topics I could switch to are really more cheerful. "Ah, forget him. So, that's my story. What do you think?"

She hunches over in thought, her chin propped on the back of one hand. "You can't _not_ scrap. I guess some of it is necessary, but that doesn't make it any less-"

I know exactly what she's about to say. "Bearable?"

"Yes."

"I've been there more times than I can count. At least there will be two of us now. And I think the Admiral is bringing my therapist too. She's great, you should talk to her when she arrives."

Yuubari snaps her head up and looks at me. " _I'm_ the ship breaker here. It's my job. I can't stop doing it."

Her words haunt me. They were mine a few months ago. Somewhere in my heart, they still _are_ mine. "Not for the next couple of weeks, Yuu. You need a mental break. I'll take over for you." I can see the frustration in her face. "He screwed you over, Yuubari. Nobody should ever be made to do what you did. Look how beaten down you got! There are ways to do this work. We need to teach you the right way. All you know is the wrong way. The _really_ wrong way."

"I know that now." Yuubari's displeasure turns to shame – which was not my intention at all. Damn it.

"Hey, hang in there," I say, giving her a pat on the back. "It's going to get better."

Poor girl. She looks ready to cry. "Will it ever go away?"

When I close my eyes, I see two dead Akatsukis staring back at me. One has a deep cut between her eyes and a smile on her face. The other has her body stripped and smashed to bits, missing all the vital parts I needed to save. Tears gather and fall when I open them again. "You already know that answer to that question."

Yuubari doesn't watch me weep; for that I'm silently thankful. Words fail us both for a long time, but then she asks a surprising question. "What are we? I mean, ship girls. What are we? Does your Admiral know?"

"She calls us the physical manifestation of our wish to succeed. We failed our nation in our first life – or maybe it failed us. Our souls can't rest until we feel we've made up for our mistakes, real or not." I lean back and look into the cloudy sky. "Sometimes I wonder if this whole thing is just a death dream. Then I pinch myself, and it hurts, but… I dunno. Maybe it's limbo. Maybe we're all just waiting to move on to wherever it is we're going. Or this _is_ our eternal punishment – a war that goes on forever, one we can't win."

My new buddy finally makes eye contact. "This just got pretty deep."

"Yeah. The Admiral still hasn't told me everything. Some of it bothers her." No point sitting here anymore, so I hop to my feet. Yuubari follows suit, but her eyes say she isn't done with the conversation. "What's up?"

"If we're all dead, how can we kill others?"

A fair point, but she's brought up a chance for me to change her perspective to the one I've been using as a crutch for these past few months. I preface my words with a sad smile. "We're not killing them. We're taking them away from the war for a while."


End file.
